Suffering

Vicktor Frankl said,
"In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning."

Apparently mine has yet to find a meaning.
Horrifying.

Christianity

True Christian behavior is an amazing thing to experience.  The world would truly be free from it's miseries if we could all behave as Christ did.  Many do!
Blessing to me and to my life. 
Dear God, I hope I can be such a person.

disappointment

When I was young disappointing my dad was a worse punishment than the belt or anything else.  He is not here but the complete and utter failure and disappointment of my life is nearly unbearable.  Regardless of the situation or issue the disapointing of those closest to you is the greatest punishment of all.
Give me the belt, give me anything else.
This public lashing in front of and at the cost of those I love most is inhuman.
Walking, talking disappointment.

Low

Each new low seems to be just a stop on the way to complete devastation, desolation and misery.
Where does it end?

Snap Shots

I am beginning to take snap shots in my mind of the many things that I love.  I want them there in my mental memory chip that will bring hapiness and joy in the time to come. 
Hope the memory chip does not short out!

Gift

Received a Christmas card yesterday from an unnamed individual.  No writing no notes just a really Christmasy card.  Inside was a gift card for $200.  I, the non emotional, against most crying one in the family dissolved into a puddle three times over it. 
On many days I am ready to tell the human race to uh..... go away.  Yet on nearly all of those days someone does something to bless my life a great deal.  The money is invaluable to us however the fact that someone would go out of their way and think of us is life changing for me right now. 
So many good people.

Snow hat

What is it about policemen and people that walk around town?  I was waiting for a ride yesterday sitting on the sidewalk of a pretty busy road.  I was waiting there for quite awhile and apparently that is a no no.  A cop drove by then circled and drove by again.  On the third pass he told me to move along.  I said I was waiting for a ride he said to wait somewhere else. 
So I stood up and leaned against the light pole that was by the road. 
That sucker drove across the street and waited and watched me until I left. 
What the hell did he think I was going to do?
He must have been real bored to harass a short chubby guy in a snow hat.  Not sure which makes me more dangerous to society being short, chubby or wearing a snow hat.  Can't fix the first two so I will wear a different color hat today.