Disconnected

Ever have a dream in which you watch yourself and the other players in the dream but are disconnected from them, even from yourself?  That is how I feel fairly regularly on this drug. 
There seems to be a screen between my mind and everything that goes on around me.  I am becoming increasingly disconnected from reality even from those I am closest to.  It is a lot like living in one of those dreams except that my behavior affects real people. 
Got to get it figured out. I hate it. Sad part is that the medication is working. Hard to know what to do.

Head up and get on with the day I guess!

Good Friday

It is interesting to me that in an increasingly Godless country and world, the center of world finance is closed in observance of Good or Holy Friday.  The day Jesus was crucified.  While it is becoming less and less religious just like Christmas, Good Friday and Easter are special days and I hope the markets never open on Good Friday.

stretched

“I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter, scraped over too much bread."
J.R. R.Tolkein

Perfect description of how I feel these days.

Pain

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

C.S. Lewis

thoughts

My thoughts are nicely ordered today; and not suitable for public consumption!

Brackets

I watched nearly every available college basketball game this year. I was completely ready for march madness, which I love.  It did me no good.  One of my worst brackets ever.  I did pick the champion right, however I landed a cool 8th in our family bracket  challenge.  Terrible.  My sister Tara who watched no games cleaned up and blew away the field.
I'd have better luck at the roulette tables. Sounds like a potential career move!

On a side note; come on football season!

Memories

I was weaned on the stories that came from the memories of my parents and grandparents as well as aunts and uncles.  I never tired of listening to the stories from their pasts.  There was always something magical and nostalgic about the past to me.  I felt bonded in some way to the people and places talked about.  It is one of the most important parts of my childhood.

As my short term memory gets worse and worse, I am finding memories of my own past that I had lost somewhere in my mind.  Perhaps it is the shift taking place in my brain that is bringing the past closer to the present and making the present more difficult to hold on to. I am remembering stories told to me as a child.  I am remembering my own experiences.

I was talking to the kids tonight about my dad and his family.  He has been dead for years and the kids have no memory of him. I felt fortunate that my longer term memory is improving and that I can pass on the memories I have to my children. I have vowed to try harder to bond my own children with my past and with that of our family.

Hidden gems; I consider the shift in my brain to be a hidden gem.