Thursday, January 5, 2012
Suffocating!
One of the things that is most difficult for me with regards to my new status as an epileptic is the constant nature of the disease. I woke up in the middle of the night last night in a panic because I felt so suffocated by this change. It is with me every second of every hour of every day for the rest of my life. I still see epilepsy as my enemy, as some unwanted guest that won't leave me alone. It never leaves my thoughts, like a nightmare that won't go away.
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I totally understand. I keep thinking that the doctors will find and answer and cure me, but it just doesn't happen. They think epilepsy is something I have to live with. I have been refusing to believe it is something I have to live with, but the reality is that I need to give up and accept it. I don't want to!
ReplyDeleteIt is a hard realization. However we can't just give up. I will always try and find a way to get healthier.
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